we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
