I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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