On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
