there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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