im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
40s are totally the cure
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
