i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
