How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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