I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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