I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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