I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
