I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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