I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
