We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
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