i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Randomize
