his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
