We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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