Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
