You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
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