I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
they need to just BURY HIM!
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
