I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
