I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
