my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
he had hair everywhere except his balls
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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