I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
