i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
