Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Randomize
