woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
so much tequila, so little girl.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
