return my video game
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
