I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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