if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
