Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
