He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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