Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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