I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
