it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
