she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
