can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize