No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
