i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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