you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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