i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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