So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
