He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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