i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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