I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
