dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
