Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
