do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize