Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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