I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I deserve this hangover.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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