u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
COCAINE IS GR8
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
