Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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