Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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