Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
