It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
