i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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