I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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