you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
