Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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