i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
