when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
