So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize